It’s Not You. It’s the Drugs.
ANTIDEPRESSANT OR A MAN: WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
There are moments in every woman’s life when she gets to thinking, a relationship just isn’t worth the trouble and pain. It’s time to get a dog.
But hang on there, gals. Before you trade in the caveman for the canine, consider this. The problem might lay in the drugs, not you and not even him.
By “drugs,” I’m referring to the group of antidepressants medically known as selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), and commonly known as Celexa®, Lexapro®, Prozac®, Sarafem®, Zoloft, Luvox®, Paxil® and Zoloft® (omg, there are so many…).
It’s well known that about three quarters of people taking SSRIs experience sexual problems. Docs may warn of a potential loss of sexual desire, sexual arousal, and genital sensation, along with lubrication and orgasm problems.
If that weren’t depressing enough, Rutgers University researchers, Helen E Fisher and J. Anderson Thomson, Jr, suggest SSRIs may affect more than your ability to get it on. They may also throw off “mate assessment, mate choice, mate pursuit, feelings of romantic love, and expressions of attachment to a long-term partner.”
Holy messing-with-my-head! What does that mean?
It means that next time you find yourself hungering for more space, or blaming sexual problems on the relationship, or telling yourself you’ve lost that loving feeling, or coming to a blindingly obvious realization that he bores you, check your SSRI. The dose may be a tad too high.
Turns out that right from the beginning of our mammalian species, oh, about 70 million or so years ago, our brain’s wiring and chemistry has been evolving in very specific ways for courtship, mating, pair formation and reproduction. Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants (SSRIs), argue Fisher and Thomson, appear to gum up the works. In short, they mess with our ability to fall in love and maintain a stable, long-term partnership. (Geesh, with millions of Americans on antidepressants, could that be one reason why our country has such a high divorce rate? Just putting two and two together.)
I read about all this while leisurely perusing a book called, Evolutionary Cognitive Neuroscience, published by MIT Press. Trust me, I’ll never pick up that book again. I mean, who wants to have to choose between a pill and a man?
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This is so true. I was on anti-depressants for years while I was trying so desperately to stay married to my ex for the sake of our kids. (Why the hell did I do that??) While I was drugged up on Prozac and then later on Lexapro, I felt like I was in a bubble and was always groggy. The minute I hit the sack in the evening, I was completely out. Sex was out of the question. I don’t remember if I even had sex from 2001 to 2008.