Ask A Cougar: Does a cougar need to be rich, not just sexy?
The Cougar (Stacey Anderson) faces conversation so boring she just can't get drunk fast enough...He better be really good in bed.
Is it enough for an older woman wanting to date a younger man to be sexy or does she need to be rich too? I mean, let’s really think about this because we all know the reverse is true. I’m going to take a windy road to answer this vital question.
Let’s start with TV, which I deeply love. We all agree, I’m sure, that TV is one of the most powerful persuaders of how we see ourselves. Which is exactly why I drove over to my friend’s house for the 10PM premier of the newest reality show, The Cougar.
The Cougar aired last Wednesday on TV Land and watching it was kind of like having to pick up my puppy’s poop – I don’t want to do it but I have to (the neighbors may be watching). The Cougar follows the exact same formula for The Bachelor, only it features a 40-year old woman searching for “ever-lasting love” (what an ol’ fashioned gal) in a jungle of horned twenty-odd year old guys.
The opening of the show introduces Stacey Anderson, AKA, Urbancougar of the month. First we see Stacey in corporate mode, shaking hands with some business types. Then Stacey’s lounging on her pool deck. The voice over goes something like, “Stacey, having just closed a $48 million dollar commercial real estate deal, rewards herself with a relaxing mani-pedi-spray tan combo treatment. Once everything’s dried, you can bet that this sexy little beaver will be back on the phone trying to nab some land for Habit for Humanity. Does our hot Cougar know how to live out loud or what?!”
Why, yes, agrees Stacey. “A cougar today is smart, sassy, driven and successful,” she exclaims philosophically. “She knows exactly what she wants and is straightforward but not overbearing. She reeks of confidence and has a style and charisma that emulates class and success. Her beauty shines from the inside out. She is a classic timepiece. She’s magnetic in her presence and captures the hearts of young men by her “no B.S.” attitude.”
Stacey, I say to you, “wot is yous banging on about?” (to quote a true TV genius, Ali G, AKA, Sacha Baron Cohen). I thought it was enough to be frightfully oversexed to make it as a cougar. Now you’re telling me I’ve got to be successful too?
What’s a feline to do? Well, for starters, admit TV’s got a problem and just say, ‘off’ (to the remote, not the cub). Don’t let the lack of bank stand between you and a little fun. I mean, take me for instance, I don’t even have a darn job and me and the cub are doing just fine, and even great some might say.
So, rise up, oh cougar wannabes and keep it real. Trust there are young guys out there who will want you just because you’re you. Make love, not money.
Related posts:
- Ask A Cougar: When to have sex When should a cougar start having sex with her cub? Are the rules different for older women dating younger men?...
- Ask A Cougar: How to Be a Cougar Woman Are an older woman looking for purpose in your life? How about just having fun even if it means being called, the cougar?...
- Ask A Cougar: Should You Consider a Job in Porn? Older women and younger men are hot. Maybe that's why MILF porn is so popular?...
- Ask a Cougar: Why do Younger Men Like Older Women? Why do younger men like older women? I've got one word for you: sex. ...
- Cougar Woman & Cub Breakup A cougar woman breaks up with her much younger man and decides to let her hair go gray. ...
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Comments
Hi Pamela,
great post – straight to the heart of the issue !
As far as I am concerned, a woman’s financial standing has absolutely no role in her attractiveness. It plays no role in initial attraction, no role in physical compatibility, and very little role in the mutual relationship.
The factors which are important are the physical body and psychological outlook.
Physicality is all important in everything corporeal. The story described in your profile is absolutely spot on (”who’s the fat ass ?”). Keeping our BMI at 22-23 ensures sex with lots of lovely people. Honestly, men look at the body first, and everything else is perceived through that first impression.
“Psychological outlook” is another way of stating the cliche which is personality. The guy (& gal) has to find the right personality. What gives us the endurable desire to return to that person, to be with that person ? Deep down inside all of us is an archetypal personality which makes us feel desired, wanted and loved.
We can (& should) manipulate our body to have short term sex. Ladies with a BMI of 22/23 can have sex with ANY man that they desire. However, we should never try to act out a personality which is false. When we put our’self’ into the relationship we look beyond sex, and as such we stake our self esteem. Truth to ourselves, and our partner, is the only safe way forward beyond no-strings attached sex.
Money in the bank is only attractive to men who have lost confidence in their self-concept. – is that attractive beyond a one night stand ?
Pamela – I loved this post on money & attraction. You are challenging the ‘honesty’ crown !
keep it up !
best wishes,
Phil.
Very interesting advice, Phil, this whole BMI thing. I have to thing about that as it challenges the notion I’ve previously had that guys like it curvy. I mean just look at strippers (not that I do) but they’re always so “well-rounded.” How does silicone factor into the BMI equation?
Uh, Janice, those are really good questions. I’m going to consult a cub expert and get back to you. Stay tuned…Pamela
[...] The MILFs are here and the Cougars are bringing up the rear guard. Just recently, The Cougar premiered. It follows the format of The Bachelor only this time a forty year old is looking for true love in [...]
Hello people. I am a male in my upper forties. I have a comment to the discussion about cougars and sexiness versus economic strength. I agree that Stacey Anderson represents an exception from the “rule.” One of my best friends and I discussed and concluded already around 1983-84 that there was an opposite(inverse) reltionship between the sexiness/beautifulness of the Norwegian girls and their intellectual smartness/academical skills (often economical strengt is a part of the latter, too). I do believe that this, on an overall base, is still true, but I feel that through the 1990-ies and through this decade, is has been more common with more and more exceptions from the “rule.” Before, we had the expression “Lipstick Lesbian.” Now, I would say that we have the expression “Lipstick Rescourceful Cougar” or “Lipstick Smart Woman!” And I welcome this development. I love the development. It is sad if one person cannot be two things at the same time: Beautiful/sexy and smart/resourceful!! I love cougars! My wife is almost 49 and a long-leged blonde! Take care all cougars and cougar-admires! Happy new year! Regards form Öyvind The Norwegian.
Dear Öyvind The Norwegian, What an impressive name! I see you northern types are much more progressive in your thinking on women. The idea that a woman can be many things at once finally being accepted–how I applaud that! I am curious, do they have “cougars” in Norway? Are older women and younger men an increasingly common thing there? Does anyone really care that much about age difference. And speaking of Norway, I just saw a film (last night in fact, Dec 26) called The Bothersome Man. It’s Norwegian, directed by Jens Lien. Odd movie that I’m not sure I understand. Have you seen it?
Hello Pamela. I found this definition of COUGAR at Wikipedia.com: “Cougar—a woman over 40 who sexually pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior.” Several years ago, I dated a woman,where we had about this age-difference. Personally, I prefer to put the following in the definition of a cougar: “A woman above 37-38 of age who is attractive, readily sexually attractive, and these woman do not necessarily prefer to date/have relations to younger men.” This definition probably brings me fairly close to the definition of a M.I.L.F., an abbreviation I probably don’t need to explain to you. Here are links to picturs of some attractive Norwegian woman (celebrities) approx. above 37 years of age: Guri ( 48 y.old): http://images.google.no/imgres?imgurl=http://www.euromusic.no/Bilder/guri%2520schanke.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.euromusic.no/html/guri_schanke.htm&usg=__TBcLv5HUW5MDH9uvZP8U94vvFME=&h=300&w=300&sz=34&hl=no&start=4&um=1&tbnid=cxbh0J9IMzg_tM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522Guri%2BSchanke%2522%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Dno%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1
Another “cougar/MILF” in Norway is Dothe who is approx. 47 y.old; pictures are here: http://images.google.no/imgres?imgurl=http://gfx.dagbladet.no/magasinet/2004/04/30/2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.dagbladet.no/magasinet/2004/04/30/397150.html&usg=__4zwSCdVF9wFOlvpIB2Vm-4e-nOE=&h=430&w=280&sz=23&hl=no&start=19&um=1&tbnid=t1HTEOEuyqBOzM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=82&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddorthe%2Bskappel%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Dno%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN%26start%3D18%26um%3D1
And last, but not least, the “Weather-ladies” in the TV-channel TV2: http://www.tv2nyhetene.no/snop/vaerdamene-festet-paa-floeyen-1736366.html
It is hard to say if older woman and younger men are increasingly common in Norway, but I think that the acceptance for it is greater now than years ago. But still; a woman 55y.old together with a man 35 y. old is still looked upon as a little odd, while “there are no questions asked” about the opposite. Talking about film (I am a movie-lover), a very, very seldom watch Norwegian movies compared with American movies (I haven’t seen the movie that you mentioned, but I know that it exists.). I think the ratio is 50 American movies to 1 Norwegian movie. Explaination? I just think the Norw. movies are too bad, too boring(with a few, few exeptions). Remeber, the Norwegians have lived in a so-called social-democratic society for decades. And the “fashion” among the flm-producers have been, and is probably yet, “political correct” movies which often “pretends” to have a “deeper meaning.” Keyword here could be: “Social-realistic movies. Society-critical movies.” Etc. Etc. Movies filled with explotions, hazardious car-driving and a lot of shooting, like in many of the Arnold Schwartzenegger-movies would therefore NOT be “political correct” in Norway, but many, many Norwegains love theres movies and rent them on DVD again and again, plus other action-movies , too, of course. I prefer entertainment; therefor, I am a fan og movie-makers like the Coen-brothers (you MUST see the movie FARGO), Q. Tarantino (Kill Bill etc.etc.), Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks (he has become a producer, you know). I also like the first Transformer-movie(more than the second) and all the Terminator-movies, including the Teminator-the TV-series. I recentli bought the first season og the TV series NIP/TUCK from 2003, and I like it! You have my understanding about the ODD movie “The Bothersome Man.” Switch to American movie or try this special Norwegian movie which I liked; “Dead Snow.” Check the plot and info about it on this link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1278340/
Take care all MILFS and Cougars. You make the life worth living! Skål…or SKOAL …or TOAST! Regards from Ö. The Norwegian.
Taking a break from being a busy little beaver myself and fully enjoying myself on your blog. And now I have a question for you … does a “cub” really want a “cougar” for herself, or does the cub really just want:
1. To show off to his buddies and advertise what a manly man he is by scoring a cougar
2. To be lazy by scoring a cougar who will take care of him
3. To be with a woman who isn’t going to constantly badger him to get hitched and crank out kiddies?
I suspect that your beau Michael is none of these, but I also suspect he may be the exception to the rule.
How valid are my suspicions, Pamela?