The Truth About Male Escorts

FREE RANGE COCK.

I know, I know. You’re just dying to find out what it’s like to go out with a male escort—to have a “date” completely on your terms. Of course, you’re also curious to discover just what the draw is from the customer’s point of view for, allegedly, the oldest profession in the world (prostitution, which for the most part, has put women on the service provider side the equation).

Now before you get your fingers all covered in chocolate, I don’t mean to imply that all male escorts are gigolos (for more on male escorts, see my earlier post). I’m sure most of them are only too happy to fill the empty chair beside you at some boring charity event—laughing at your jokes, telling you how beautiful and smart and sexy you are, and ensuring that your wine glass floweth over. Charging you a mere $200 per hour (with a two hour minimum) for all that stroking and wholesome pleasure. That at least is the “Handyman’s” rate (AKA, adonis). Thanks to the ravings of one very satisfied customer (Tamara Clark, who said I could use her real name), I’ve come to learn about his dating assets in considerable detail.

Part One: The Customer Review

Me and my girlfriends all went out to Friday’s to eat and booked a room at a hotel here in Chicago[1]. After we finish eating we went to the hotel etc. I went to use the ladies room and notice a gold card right by the dryer. I picked it up and notice it had male courtesan on it and I already know what it was…LOL. I don’t know why but I picked it up. So after my girlfriends went to sleep I went to the website address that was on the card, and I must say I was shocked. I really didn’t think there where guys out there that did this.[2] Anywho I sent him an email and we chatted for a few weeks, but he would not give me a picture. I asked him why and he said he doesn’t just give out pictures to any woman that asks because that’s a waste of time. He only shows the picture after you are sure you want to book a date[3]. I was because when I read he was 12 inches wanted to know LMAO[4]. When he sent me his picture I was wet LOL. I liked what I saw so we had set up a date. His fee for me was 500.00 flat rate[5], That wasn’t bad at all…I was soo nervous. I just put on a coogi dress[6] and some high heels. We met up at a pool hall, When he walked in my whole face lid up LOL. He smelled sooooo good (dam he smelled good). I was ready to fuck him right there. He was in a business suit. He played pool and laser tag[7]. He has a great personality[8]. After we played tag we went to eat but I could not eat, I wanted to fuck him. So we did but I wanted it to be exciting for me did it in my truck LMAO. HIS DICK WAS HUGE. I LICKED THAT DICK LIKE IT WAS CANDY LMAO[9]. No hotel, just straight wild in my truck LOL[10]. I never had that much fun in my life. One of my girlfriends is about to go out with him this month. I don’t want any other escort but him and I will be using his services again around Thanksgiving[11]. No man never made my kitty that sore LOL[12]. Oh yeah here is the link to his site:  http://freewebs.com/handymaninc

My Footnotes:

1.    This is a common thing in Chicago. After the girlfriends go for dinner they book themselves into a nice hotel for a group sleepover.
2.    When I read that I went to the website immediately. It wasn’t so shocking. There are no nudie pics on it, just shots of romantic settings–as though women care about that kind of thing.
3.    This is something else particular to Chicago, where all the women are brave and think nothing of hooking up with a guy they’ve never seen and whose card they’ve found in a public bathroom.
4.    LMAO is, amazingly, my exact response to learning a guy has a dick the size of a pony’s—as in, “you think that’s going in here? [pointing to crotch] Funny! Really funny! [peals of laughter]”
5.    Cheap.
6.    Can someone help me–what the hell is a “coogi dress”?
7.    Just when I was starting to think this guy was a one-trick pony, I find out he plays pool and laser tag—and in a business suit and with cologne on. He should be charging extra for that.
8.    Do we care?
9.    I hear the jaw surgery afterward went well and she’s recovering nicely.
10.    WTF, if you’re paying that kind of money for a date, you’d at least want to check into a Motel 6 or some other special place.
11.    Mom is going to love this guy. Dad, too.
12.    I have often rated a guy’s performance based on how sore my kitty got.

Part Two:  My Further Commentary

OMG, ROTFLMAO!

I’m so glad I wasn’t born yesterday because AFAIK, this review was written by a bot or the male escort himself who’s clearly seen his dick and knows of what he writes.

IMHO.

PS: I could be wrong. But I doubt it.

Related posts:

• Ask A Cougar: When to have sex  When should a cougar start having sex with her cub? Are the rules different for older women dating younger men?...
• Why Women Have Sex  Looking for a good reason to have sex? Here are hundreds. All you have to worry about now is finding someone to have sex with. ...
• What Would You Do With a Male Escort?  Male escorts are great for, well, everything......
• Buzz in the New Year with Style: Best Vibrator Review  Don't settle for just any sex toy. I review the best vibrators so you can buzz in the New Year with style and make new friends too!...
• Would you Hire a “Prostidude?”  Regular readers to my blog may be familiar with posts I’ve done covering male escorts. Okay, I admit, at first I thought it was funny. But now I’m like, hey,...

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment and subscribe via email or in a feed reader to receive future articles and join the conversation!