Michael’s a very informed chap, I agree with him wholeheartedly on all points. However, it’s not really about age – it’s actually about attitude. Whilst older women are more likely to have perspective, be sexually confident etc; and 20 somethings are more likely to be hysterical, commitment obsessed etc these characteristics can be found in people of all ages. I know some very well sorted young women (they do tend to be prostitutes), and some commitment obsessed, hysterical, older women…, I guess it’s about where your head’s at rather than your birth date.

In general, it’s not so much about sex-related reasons for me, otherwise described as “knowing what they want.” I agree with Michael’s first two stereotypes of younger women, i.e. boring in the sense of still being in the “fit in” stage and, thus, really are no different from each other and unintelligent (as are 20-something males, in my opinion–that’s part of the “younger culture, i.e. being a moron). For me, there’s just something about the self-acceptance, sophistication, maturity and grace of an older woman. And the lack of game-playing and self-centeredness that you find in younger women. And I have the best conversations with older people, male or female. Phil does have a point–some older women are immature and selfish, and some younger women are very intelligent and mature. But it’s near-impossible to find grace and sophistication in 20-somethings, or to find one who truly knows/is okay with who she is regardless of what anyone else says.

To start with I am a younger man with a woman 15 years older than me, so I speak purely from my own experience rather than academic rhetoric. Michael makes some very valid points, but the author is also correct in that we have already done the comparison before we start. I personally feel that it is about comfort levels and what you feel as a couple. There will alwaysbee generation gaps and problems as a result, but nothing that communication cant resolve. There is no point in a man in his 20’s starting a relationship with a woman in her 50’s if he wants children as this will be a problem in most cases. I find that I am at home in a relationship where I am an equal part of it. I have never found this with a younger woman as I feel I am more of the provider and she is the nest maker. Then I agree with Michael’s points, she knows what she wants, has experience and with it interesting conversation and life experiences that you can share together. However, the biggest downside I have seen is actually when one is doing it for “kicks”. Very often an older woman can be used for great sex and the man is not interested in much else. This can also work the other way too. This is fine if both parties are happy with it, but if one wants more then someone is going to get hurt real fast.
However, if both parties are serious about each other and comfortable with their situation then there is no reason why a man should not be able to be in a meaningful relationship with a woman who is older than him.

Dear Hybrid Theory: You clearly possess the coveted “hybrid brain” — a person able to access both his rational and emotional faculties. What an utterly intelligent, thoughtful, well reasoned comment. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more. I’m so curious about your relationship now: would you care to share? Where did you meet and how long have you been together? Does your partner agree with your perspective? Thank you again! Pink Wrangler.

Hi Pink Wrangler – you are welcome to e-mail me direct as I would rather chat via e-mail than post it here for all and sundry to read. Is your e-mail address the same as the one that sent me the notification (The one from Pamela)? If not then feel free to contact me on this e-mail address: geoff_muzzle@yahoo.co.uk and I will happily tell you more about my relationship

Look forward to your e-mail – Hybrid Theory